Unrealistic expectations can significantly impact self-esteem, particularly when individuals face continual rejection in online dating apps.
According to recent research on dating app users based in Pakistan, some women have reported negative experiences in dealing with potential future in-laws in relation to their perceived appearance, financial status, or health conditions.
Research indicates that these experiences can lead to long-term psychological effects, reinforcing societal pressures to conform to marriage expectations in Pakistan.
Nusrat Jahan, 60, described how she first saw her husband on their wedding night.
“He told me that since I was here, his mother would stop working, and the house was now mine to manage. It was simply understood that this was my new role,” says Jahan.
Her daughter, Abeera, 28, has a different outlook. “I’ve seen women in my family stay in unfulfilling marriages just to avoid societal judgment. I want something different,” says Abeera.
Men also face societal expectations regarding marriage.
Studies show that first-born sons often experience heightened pressure to marry early and meet family standards.
Zia, in his fifties, shared that his mother was adamant about choosing the “perfect” match for him.
“She rejected so many proposals over minor things. In the end, my wife spent her life trying to keep my family happy,” says Zia.
Traditional matchmaking services continue to be in demand, and have adapted to offering modern preferences, with an increasing demand for foreign matches.
Naseema Bibi, a professional matchmaker for over a decade, noted a shift in women’s expectations.
“Women are more selective now. While I understand why, I think some expectations, like high salaries, may be unrealistic,” says Bibi.
Marriage counsellors emphasize that successful relationships require mutual understanding and shared responsibilities. Studies suggest that nearly 40% of marital conflicts are resolvable, while 60% are rooted in fundamental differences.
Psychological research advises against entering marriages with the expectation of changing a partner’s core beliefs.
Love marriages have become more common in Pakistan, yet social resistance remains.
Many couples who opt for love marriages report familial opposition and long-term difficulties with acceptance.
Studies on family dynamics indicate that lack of approval from extended family members can contribute to marital stress and dissatisfaction.
Neha, in her late 30s, reflected, “Even after 12 years, I’m still not accepted by my in-laws. They see me as someone who stole their son,” says Neha.
Matchmaking apps have introduced new opportunities but also new challenges. While they provide a means to connect, they also expose users to repeated rejections, which may impact self-esteem.
“I used an app for three years and was rejected by someone’s mother due to my health condition. It made me question my self-worth,” says Muskaan.
Marriage apps have been gaining popularity in Pakistan, with platforms like Muzz attracting over 1.2 million users.
